Good Girls Need God Too

I’m a “good girl.” I really am. I used to be embarrassed to be given that label…like it made me naive or boring or something. But, it’s who I am.

I like people to like me. I like my husband to compliment me in public (someone remind him of this please 😉). I like my parents to be proud of me. I like to know the expectations…and exceed them!

I don’t like breaking the rules or being in trouble…even as a grown woman! Although one time, I was called into Human Resources for calling a co-worker “sassy” and I didn’t melt into a tearful puddle. Go me! It probably helped that I was super angry and everyone else thought it was funny that I called her an “insult from the 1920s” 🤷‍♀️.

A Few Stories

So, I feel like it’s appropriate to share a few stories to illustrate my “good girl” compulsion.

“Kelcey, Flip Your Card”

Think back to school with the “card” system. If it’s new to you, basically the card colors are like traffic lights – green means good, yellow is a warning, red is a consequence, and a fourth color (purple or blue) is really big trouble.

I made it to fourth grade before I ever had to “flip my card.”

I was in Mrs. Smith’s class and we were studying Oklahoma history. She had been having a hard time with kids not doing their homework and made a rule that no homework to turn in meant a card flip.

Y’all, I was so mortified and embarrassed that I didn’t have my little fourth grade homework to turn in that she had to tell me to excuse myself to go to the bathroom. “When you calm down, you can return to class.”

I’m sure the other kids thought I was absolutely insane. Oh gracious, telling that story now makes me squirm in embarrassment in a whole new way!

“Shoes of Sin”

So, my family had (haha well actually, has a rule) that flip-flops were not “proper footwear attire” for school. Now, that was not a school rule, just one that my parents felt was appropriate.

All of the other girls at the time were wearing those simple black flip-flops from Old Navy, and I thought they just looked sooo cool.

I hadn’t had my license for very long (yes, this happened in high school) and kept crates in the trunk for my different school books and binders. One day, I got brave and snuck a pair of flip-flops into my car underneath my jacket and headed off to school. Shock and awe, I know.

After band practice (yes, even another layer to my coolness in high school) I changed out of my morning rehearsal clothes and into my school clothes…along with my flip-flops! I felt so cool, like so cool you guys. I probably made it through a class period, maybe two, until my guilt started to get ahold of me.

I remember calling my dad at lunch:

“Dad?”

“Yes…?”

“I have to tell you something…”

“Ok…go ahead. Are you ok?”

“(starting to cry) I snuck flip-flops to school today and wore them after band. I just felt so bad that I had to call you and confess! I’ve put my tennis shoes back on. I’m so sorry!”

“Ok, thank you for calling to let me know. We’ll talk about it more tonight.”

Yes, some kids talk back to the teachers, use their phones in class, or get caught roaming the halls. I, the good girl, wore flip-flops 🤦‍♀️.

Truthfully, I don’t remember what my dad said that evening, but I’m sure he knew how much I had already punished myself and didn’t make me feel any worse about it. Now, it’s a big family joke. Flip-flops are still affectionately called “shoes of sin” (or S.O.S. for short) to this day 😂.

Good Girls Aren’t Perfect

Ok, so here’s my point (no, it wasn’t just to embarrass myself!). Being a good girl is hard. It’s not cool to be the “good girl” and not many people understand what makes you tick. But besides all the peer pressure stuff, being “the good girl” is how everyone sees you, and the pressure is on!

I definitely don’t feel like people think I’m perfect (uh, if you do, we need to spend some more time together so I can prove you’re wrong 😉) and I don’t want them to. But it does feel like they make assumptions about me based on that – like I don’t face temptations, have doubts about God, struggle with the same things over and over again (this sassy mouth, y’all).

Like I can’t relate to “real world” or “big girl” problems and that just absolutely is not the case.

When I hear things like “I know you don’t have this problem, but…” or “You’re such a strong Christian…” I’m flattered, but I also feel guilty. As much as I enjoy a compliment or to have reinforcement that I’m on the right track, you don’t know what goes on in my head.

You don’t know what I said about you yesterday. You don’t know what I think about her. You don’t know what I told him. You don’t know how I lost my patience with them.

I’m not shy about sharing my imperfections. To me, it’s a way to relate and bond to someone in a meaningful way and get beyond the superficial stuff. But still, having people think or say this about me is almost like a guilty feeling…like a form of hypocrisy in that they don’t know that I do struggle and definitely not always “the good girl”.

And it sometimes leaves me feeling unworthy of God’s grace and promises.

Good Girls Need God

Good girl, as good as you are, you still need God.

There is nothing I can do to earn God’s love or salvation. Yes, there are things I need to do out of love and obedience, but I will never be good enough to deserve what He’s given me. And you know what, if I let it, that can really take the pressure off! It’s not on me…it’s about what He’s already done.

Sometimes when I need to refocus, I like to take a shower and listen to music.

This album has been at the top of my favorite list when I want to reenergize my spiritual life for the past two years. That’s gotta be some sort of record, right? But seriously, it is that good.

Anyways, during one of these times, a song came on and the lyrics really spoke to me.

Now my debt is paid
It is paid in full
By the precious blood
That my Jesus spilled
Now the curse of sin
Has no hold on me
Whom the Son sets free
Oh is free indeed

(reference to John 8:36)

Isn’t that wonderful? It doesn’t matter how I feel about my salvation – if I have (and continue to) follow the plan laid out in the Bible, my debt is paid and I am free! I don’t have to be a certain level of “good” because it will never be enough. If God (specifically Jesus here) says I am free – I AM FREE!

I was just going to put a link to my copy of the song, but I didn’t want to break any sharing rules (lol *ahem* good girl), so here’s the next best thing with this preview video.

Bad Girls Aren’t All Bad

A super amazing part of growing up is seeing how people change over the years. There are girls from high school that I thought were super wild who have settled down, had families, and many even openly talk about their faith in God and the change in themselves! I love it!

Many of my close friends are quick to admit they were not who they were “supposed” to be growing up, but to me, it just makes who they are now even more wonderful!

You Can’t Un-Pop A Balloon

Earlier today, my two year old was playing with a balloon and kept saying she wanted to pop it. I tried explaining to her that she could pop it if she wanted to, but that you can’t “un-pop” a balloon. It was kinda like a lightbulb went off for me (after I said “hey, that would be a great post!” haha)…there are so many things you can’t un-do or take back.

You can’t un-do your words, your past actions, or take back time. Once those things are done, they’re done.

We all have regrets and things we wish we could do differently, but what’s important is how you move forward.

Bad Girls Need God Too

Bad girl, no matter what you’ve done, you still need God and he wants you, too.

Someone Stole My Bike!

Ok, many of you know that about this time last year, someone stole my bike…from our driveway…on a Sunday morning…during worship services 😒 (we live on church property). Like, how bold can you be? I tried telling myself that maybe they needed it more than I did and at least they removed my daughters’ bike trailer before running off with it.

We practically spent all summer of 2020 outside. Tons of water play, sidewalk chalk, swinging, and yes, bike riding. In spite of the times, we had a great time and made some wonderful memories.

Anyways, I just got around to replacing it and all of those feelings of anger and resentment came back even though it is not that serious of a thing. I half-heartedly told my husband that as agitated as I was, that “God knows who did it.”

He responded with a “yup…and he’ll take care of it. Unless of course they repent and obey the Gospel, then they won’t!”

A Relevant Parable

WOP. Take the wind right out of my sail with that one, boy.

But then I got to thinking, he’s right! Do I really want someone to be held eternally accountable for stealing my little $80 bike from Wal-mart? Of course not!!

And then I thought even more…how grateful am I that that’s the case?! I have an encyclopedia-sized list of things that I am so grateful I won’t be held accountable for…and it grows longer every day.

As luck would have it, the next day I was reading from the book of Matthew and read the parable of the laborers in the vineyard (Matthew 20:1-16). In super short summary, some laborers agree to work a day’s work for a day’s pay. A few hours later, they hire some more workers. Another few hours, and more workers come to work up until laborers come into the vineyard with only an hour or two left to work. The last hired are paid first – a day’s wage. Those hired in the morning begin to think that they will receive more since they worked the longest. But, nope. When they receive their payment and start to grumble, the boss says “did you not get what you agreed to work for? So, what’s the problem?”

Honestly, I get them. There’s something in me that wants things to be equal and fair, BUT, the terms of their agreement were met, so they really had no right whatsoever to complain.

Who I am I to say who God can be generous or grant repentance to?! To say that I should have some say in it is absolutely ridiculous.

Bad girl, yes even you, bike thief, as long as you have the breath of life in your body, you still have time to change.

No One Is Righteous

The truth of the matter is good girl or not, no one is righteous on their own. There has only been one person ever who can say they lived a spiritually and morally perfect life.

We all are in need of God’s grace and goodness. We cannot do it alone!

Good girl, keep trying to do all the right things but realize you can never be “good enough.” And when you mess up, you are still oh so very loved.

Bad girl, take stock of your life and be honest with yourself. If there are changes you need to make, now is the time. We’re not promised tomorrow. You are too valuable to put it off.

“Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick…for I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”

Matthew 9:12-13